Archive for the 'Serious Political Commentary' Category

It recently came to my attention that the US Department of Health and Human Services is currently circulating a proposal that states in completely clear, not-at-all vague and meaningless, terms:

Because the statutes that would be enforced through this regulation seek, in part, to protect individuals and institutions from suffering discrimination on the basis of conscience, the conscience of the individual or institution should be paramount in determining what constitutes abortion, within the bounds of reason. [...] The Department proposes, then, to allow individuals and institutions to adhere to their own views and adopt a definition of abortion that encompasses both views of abortion.

–HHS-45-CFR, p.17

Effectively, what this appears to mean is that, as in institution, you’re still eligible for government funding regardless of the institution’s beliefs (and policies) regarding abortion. While on the surface that policy is  about as amazingly engaging at that text itself, this results in a more interesting side effect when taking into consideration certain arguments regarding hormonal and emergency contraceptives, which some argue are abortive in and of themselves (more so in the case of the latter).  In this vein, such an act would make it perfectly legal for medical instutitions to deny such contraceptive measures as they see fit.

As such, I myself see I need to propose my solution to the problem.  Consider that those of the pro-life ideological camp generally classify abortion as a type of murder due to the destruction of a potential life.  Also consider that every second you’re not engaged in sexual intercourse, you could be conceiving a child.  Think: every sexless minute of everyone’s lives, people are are ending millions, if not billions, of potential lives.  With this in mind, I present to you my improved definition of abortion (based on the original present in HHS-45-CFR), which surely will immediately be selected by the DHHS to replace its current wording:

An abortion is the termination of a pregnancy. While commonly held views on the question of when a pregnancy begins differ, we believe that a simple definition, satisfying to most parties, can be used. We present that any action that destroys human life after or prior to conception is the termination of a pregnancy, and so would be included in our definition of the term “abortion.”

And there you have it.